Seven Year Switch 2. The finale. IN the final moments of the Seven Year Switch finale, one of reality TV’s most tortured couples has finally broken up following an odd and trivial argument in a park. I, for one, am thrilled this is the final episode. Mainly because I honestly can’t bear to hear Sarge say “pitch a tent” one more time.

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Other things I won’t miss are fights about pillow walls and watching Stacey Louise fake cry. Basically I can’t wait until all of these people are out of my life completely. After Sarge ran out on Stacey Louise last night and called her the devil, he’s heading back to see her “for an emergency therapy session”. It’s kind of like when Kristy would call an emergency meeting at The Baby- Sitters Club only it’s far less interesting.“For three nights I’ve just wanted to break up with you,” he admits to her face. I’ve been planning my future without you.”Stacey Louise did not see this coming.

I seriously didn’t want to hear another argument about Stacey Louise sleeping in the same bed as Johnny, but we end up going there again. And just as we think Sarge is going to end it all, he flip- flops back to thinking they can slowly work things out.“Seriously, it’s just one hour at a time and one day at a time for me,” he explains, making his relationship with Stacey Louise sound excruciatingly tedious, unbearable and torturous. Tuesday night’s episode is really just a repeat of conversations we’ve heard a million times before. Over at Mark and Kaitlyn’s, he confronts her again about sleeping in the same bed with Michael.

I don’t really know what they’re saying because I’m distracted wondering who on earth buys those gross theatre chairs for their home so that their living room resembles a Hoyts cinema. But I snap back to attention when Kaitlyn says something that makes Mark’s peepers go unusually wide.“I have to make sure this is what I want because frankly I think you’re punching above your weight,” she tells him. Everyone is eventually shoved into their own separate rental cars and taken to various locations around Sydney to meet the therapists and deliver their final decisions to their partner. Johnny and Tracey are first up — mainly because they’re boring and decide to stay together without even a hint of hesitation. Next up are Felicity and Michael, and their verdicts are clear when the therapists ask one simple question: are they having sex again? When it comes to Mark and Kaitlyn, we expect him to snuff it all out.

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He’s been very troubled by Kaitlyn’s rule- breaking ways. But he doesn’t go through with it. George Lopez: It`S Not Me, It`S You Full Movie on this page. He decides to stay.“Let’s do it!” he beams, as if nothing ever happened.

Even Kaitlyn is deflated by the lack of drama involved in all these decisions. She also decides to stay before detailing an important dream she had the previous night.“Last night I had a dream that we had a little baby together and we were so happy and we named it Rocky!” she says. It’s immediately clear Mark would now like to change his decision but, it’s too late. Have fun with Kaitlyn and baby Rocky while sitting in your Hoyts chairs, Mark.

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By the time Sarge and Stacey Louise are rolled out in front of the therapists, we’re all desperate to witness a breakup. Stacey Louise is the first to deliver her decision which, of course, involves seeing her fake cry one final time. She basically says she loves him and the fact they fight all the time and have a general dislike for each other shouldn’t keep them apart. Sarge says it’s not enough.“ .. Our respect and our honesty and our trust .. And I think we need to strengthen those for us to be able to move forward,” he tells her. But just as we think he’s about to break up with her and we get excited at the opportunity of seeing someone’s “fake cry face” slowly transition into a “real cry face”, he ruins everything.“But I’m here because I love you,” he says, looking into her eyes.

No one gets broken up with. No ones fake cry face transitions into a real cry face. It’s severely disappointing. But cut to three months later and we see things change in the blink of an eye. While all the couples are still together and working through their problems, we’re told Sarge and Stacey have split up. As the voiceover lady delivers the news, we appear to watch footage of the moment that ended it all for the couple.

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In the vision captured from inside a garden bed, Stacey Louise — looking glamorous in a blue frock with full hair and makeup — wanders hand- in- hand with Sarge through a park.“We were such an awesome team when we first met,” Stacey Louise says to Sarge as they walk along the grass. It’s not clear exactly why they’re all dressed up and randomly hanging out in a park, but they are. And then, out of nowhere, a tiff erupts.

We see a frustrated Stacey Louise looking at her watch.“Why do you even want to be with me?” Sarge asks her. Stacey Louise fiddles with the tips of her and rolls her eyes in frustration.“You know what? That’s a really good question,” she huffs before clomping off down the road. The apparent breakup happens in a split second. And then they’re done.

Is it underwhelming? Yes. Do we find out what happened to Stacey Louise’s re- gifted G- string? No. But at least it’s all over. For more observations about Hoyts chairs and The Baby- Sitters Club, follow me on Twitter: @hellojamesweir.