Why Your Team Sucks 2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Tampa Bay Bucs.

Your 2. 01. 6 record: 9- 7. In those seven losses, the Bucs gave up nearly five touchdowns a game. Derek Carr hung 5. Raiders committed 2. The Rams hung 3. 7 on them somehow. This is a rough estimate, but 9. Tavon Austin’s total receiving yards last year came against the Bucs.

But please keep telling me that this is an up- and- coming defense. This team still starts Chris Conte. During real games, no less! Your coach: Dirk Koetter.

Well, I am sure there are plenty of people that think my playcalling stinks… But I’ve been doing it for 3. I don’t think I’m going to forget how.” Well actually, Dirk, in your NFL career your teams have had a winning percentage below . So it’s not that you’ve forgotten how to call plays, but rather the fact that you never learned how to call them to begin with. By the way, the Bucs were this season’s designated Hard Knocks victim. Let’s see what kind of EXCLUSIVE ACCESS we’ve been given into Koetter and his coaching methods. Christ. Honestly, it’s like they just draw slogans out of a hat every year. Your quarterback: Congratulations, Jameis Winston!

Your sexual battery case was finally dismissed after reaching an undisclosed settlement with your accuser! Finally, you can put this whole ordeal behind you. What a hardship it must have been. For YOU. Now Jameis is free to be a “leader” who “absorbs the playbook like a sponge” and “routinely commits turnovers that belong in silent comedies”: Every time I gotta read some horseshit about Jameis’s uncommon maturity and growth as a passer, it’s like people completely forget that, at least once a game, he will take the snap and proceed to re- enact every Nordberg scene from The Naked Gun. By the way, Jameis has been the showcase star of this season’s Hard Knocks. Here he is killing a cockroach while it’s mating: Technically, that’s ALSO sexual assault. And here he is acting like Taylor Swift in the front row of an award show: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Jameis Winston may not be the most genuine (or mature) fellow in the world.

The latest news articles from Billboard Magazine, including reviews, business, pop, hip-hop, rock, dance, country and more. As CNN reports, Scaramucci is getting some help with his broadcast from Fox News co-president Bill Shine, but it’s not yet clear how you’ll be able to watch the. Mediagazer presents the day's must-read media news on a single page. Kyle Kennedy, the last person to see the former New England Patriot alive, has been taken off suicide watch six days after the football star killed himself. It’s cake versus ice cream for Splatoon 2's first Splatfest and we’re streaming all the fun live on our Twitch channel. Come and join the mayhem!

The LaVar Ball circus continued yesterday, this time with some not-so-thinly-veiled misogyny taking a spot in the center ring. Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the. A temporary Independence Day celebration in Watch Dogs 2 was suspended early on July 4 because it was enraging too many people who still play Ubisoft’s late 2016.

Fresh off beating the rap, he had the balls to lecture a group of schoolgirls about being silent, polite, and gentle. Fuck his phony ass with a pirate flag. Thankfully, the Bucs imported a MENTOR to help him become 5.

That’s right. It’s Harvard Man, in the flesh! I could be dead in the ground 5. I swear that Ryan Fitzpatrick could still be holding down an NFL roster spot for no reason whatsoever. This team now has not one, but TWO Harvard grads on the roster. I swooooon at the potential for elevated sideline discourse. Oh, nothing coach.

Just sipping some Gatorade and discussing the impact on South China Sea trade routes should a preemptive strike in North Korea take place [FARTS]” What’s new that sucks: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU CUT THE KICKER. Yes, after trading up to draft Roberto Aguayo in the second round, the Bucs had to cut him and replace him with Nick Folk…Priceless. That’s what you get for FSU- ifying half the roster. No one should ever let this team forget about the Aguayo draft bust.

This was already one of the worst picks in draft history before they released the poor bastard. They should put a monument to the trade next to the stadium bathroom. GM Jason Licht should have to walk around with a sandwich board that says I TOOK A KICKER IN THE SECOND ROUND LIKE A MORON all day long.“I’m owning up to it by releasing him. It was a bold move and it didn’t work out. I don’t know what else to say.” “Bold” isn’t the word I’d use there, amigo. Elsewhere on the roster, De.

Sean Jackson is here! On paper, the arrival of Jackson and absolute stud TE OJ Howard (drafted to replace the drunk driver they originally had at that slot) make the Bucs one of the best young passing teams in football. But, as someone who has watched De. Sean Jackson over the years, I can assure you that every accidental fumble Winston makes is one that Jackson can make deliberately. Doug Martin was suspended for the first four games for Adderall, and will be suspended four more after he beats my ass for screaming MUSCLE HAMSTER at him from a nearby balcony.

Mike Evans drops passes as swiftly as he drops visible Anthem protests. Jon Gruden is getting inducted into the team’s ring of honor this season, even though Bill Callahan’s playsheet should have been inducted way before him.

One of the linemen dined and dashed on a five- figure club tab. What has always sucked: Miko Grimes claimed that she deliberately got her husband cut in Miami so he could come to Tampa. You played yourself, lady. Only an idiot would scheme to leave the glistening shores of South Beach to go to live in the middle of a Dog the Bounty Hunter fancon. She must have thought she could avoid the tax man there.

I may be biased here because a jury of Tampa tattoo artists bankrupted this site’s former company, but for real, Fuck Tampa. Family Guy Download Episodes. Tampa is the Arizona of Florida. Tampa is a seething mass of divorcees and wannabe pirates deliberately living in the cheesiest possible area. The Bucs stadium isn’t even the most popular building on its block (that honor goes to Mons Venus). There’s a reason that Jon Gruden has a completely unironic love of Hooters. That’s 1. 00 percent Tampa right there. I’m surprised they don’t blare Hoobastank from air raid signals all day long.

I took my family to Tampa for Spring Break once. Seagulls tried to eat our dinner every night and some lady brought an entire hi- fi system to the pool so she could play Bon Jovi. Tampa is the worst. It’s the only city in America aiming to REDUCE mass transit. Nazis are everywhere.

Local sports teams had to give money just to get a Confederate statue taken down and it still hasn’t been taken down. A local middle school tried to sell kids a $1. The Scientologists are the most normal people there. Fuck Tampa eternally. VIVA GAWKER, MOTHERFUCKER.

What might not suck: They’re good enough on offense to score 4. Did you know? HEAR IT FROM BUCS FANS! Matthew: Robert Aguayo. Robert Aguayo. Robert Aguayo. Anton: There is nothing worse than waiting for decades for your team to get a potentially elite QB and then have him be an alleged rapist. Who tells groups of young girls they need to shut up and let the men lead. Alex: Fuck Josh Freeman.

Joseph: In two season Jameis will be the Bucs all=time leader in passing yards, surpassing Vinny fucking Testaverde. Jeb Lund: The problem with Why Your Team Sucks is that, every year, I strive to think of something uniquely bad about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, some suck- property that grounds the team athletically and geographically in a characteristic awfulness that other people can point to and say, “I get why thisteam blows.”But I’m starting to think that’s misguided, like writing a negative review of a flat, sad Big Mac. It’s a mediocrity expected, universal and unenlightening, as dissatisfying as you want it to be, assuming you need to buy it at all. Apart from the pirate ship, Raymond James Stadium is unlovely in the way most stadiums are unlovely. It’s not exiled to some featureless exurban hinterland, but it’s not in a downtown core accessible to walking or convenient public transportation. Before games, the neighborhood food carts and stalls are all pleasantly above average; afterward, the hassle of finding a way to get to something else to do is what you’d expect. Are the owners soulless profiteers using the NFL revenue stream to underwrite more exciting pursuits while relying on die- hard, underserved suckers?

Yes. Does this distinguish them from most NFL owners? No. A Bucs fan gets grifted like everybody else.

Aaron Hernandez's prison lover taken off suicide watch. Aaron Hernandez’s prison lover has been taken off suicide watch six days after the football star killed himself, Daily. Mail. com has learned. Kyle Kennedy — who we revealed on Monday was the inmate to whom Hernandez wrote a last note — is now out of protective custody, his lawyer Larry Army jr.

My client is obviously saddened by the loss of his friend, Aaron Hernandez,’ said Army in a statement to Daily. Mail. com.‘I met with him briefly at the Souza- Baranowski Correctional Center and I am just learning the facts surrounding the situation,’ he added.'My client is obviously saddened by the loss of his friend, Aaron Hernandez,' Kyle Kennedy's lawyer Larry Army, Jr. Monday evening. Kyle Kennedy's lawyer has requested the suicide note Aaron Hernandez left for his client be turned over as soon as possible. Kennedy was the last person to see the former New England Patriot alive. Army confirmed that Hernandez did leave a suicide note addressed to Kennedy, 2.

Kennedy's attorney Larry Army Jr., of the law firm Army & Roche‘But neither I, nor my client, have seen the letter,’ he added. We will be requesting that the letter be turned over to my client as soon as possible.‘Lastly. My client is no longer on suicide watch,’ said Army. The decision to move him to a protective unit was a standard precaution, but my client did not and has not exhibited any dangerous or risky behavior as a result of this situation.’On Monday a judge ruled that the three suicide notes that Hernandez wrote before hanging himself early last Wednesday morning should be handed to his fiancée Shayanna Jenkins- Hernandez.

One was written to Shayanna, a second to Avielle, the four- year- old daughter she had with the former New England Patriot tight end and the third to Kennedy. Kennedy’s family also issued a statement saying: ‘Our thoughts right now are with Aaron Hernandez’ family as well as our son.’They then asked for privacy saying they ‘understand the broad public interest in this case.’Hernandez was buried on Monday in his hometown of Bristol, Connecticut within hours of Daily.

Mail. com’s blockbuster article revealing the identity of his prison lover. The final entry on Kyle Kennedy's Facebook page was posted minutes before his arrest at 1. Sunday January 1. It said simply: 'Pray 4 Me.' A post 3. Who got wheels and wanna make $.'When approached at his home at the end of a leafy cul- de- sac, Kennedy's stepmother Deborah, refused to comment and drove in through the automatic gates. Within minutes his father Matthew, 4. Daily. Mail. com team sitting on a public road outside his house, yelling: 'Get the f**k away and don't f**king come back'Kennedy was jailed in 2.

Cumberland Farms store in Northbridge, Massachusetts. He then led cops on a wild chase with speeds of up to 1. He went into the store wearing a black mask and armed with a ‘long butcher- style knife,’ according to reports. He got away with just $1. Minutes before his arrest he posted his last Facebook comment, saying simply ‘Pray 4 Me.’A post 3. Who got wheels and wanna make $.'Attempts to reach Kennedy's mother, Cindy Curving Kennedy, were unsuccessful.

Other posts show him holding huge wads of cash. But three months earlier, in October 2. I stop answering you. Thanks.'Even after his arrest he thought he could get away. While in police custody over the Martin Luther King Day long weekend, he asked to make a phone call and while an officer was dialing he made a dash for it and was only caught after three blocks. This is not the first time that Kennedy has been imprisoned.

In 2. 01. 2 was sentenced to nine months for trafficking heroin in 2. Papers filed in court in Worcester, Massachusetts, revealed that Kennedy’s own father, businessman Matthew Kennedy had bailed his son out, but then asked the court to take him back into custody. In a single- page handwritten note obtained by Daily. Mail. com Matthew Kennedy, 4.

Uxbridge, Massachusetts, wrote: 'I am requesting the court to revoke Kyle's bail. In a letter to the Worcester Superior Court Matthew Kennedy wrote: 'I am requesting the court to revoke Kyle's bail. Kyle had begged me to bail him out of the house of corrections with the understanding Kyle would attend and complete a program that I had lined up in Boston,' added the older Kennedy. Kennedy was arrested in January 2. Cumberland Farms gas station in Northbridge, Massachusetts. He was wearing a black mask and carrying 'a long butcher- style knife,' according to a report.

He got away with just $1. I stand at 5' 1. 0', I weigh 1. I have brown hair and brown eyes. I am also heavily tattooed. I work out, read books and write to help me pass the time while incarcerated,' he added. Kennedy — prisoner number W1.

March 1 next year'Kyle had begged me to bail him out of the house of corrections with the understanding Kyle would attend and complete a program that I had lined up in Boston,' added the older Kennedy.'I also hired an independent counselor to bring him to the program and keep an eye on him so he would complete and hopefully live a normal life.'This person brought him to Boston the day after he was bailed and checked him in. Kyle stayed one day and left the program! To the best of my knowledge he is living in Worcester with no job and back using heroin.'I believe Kyle is a threat to himself and anyone around him. Also, given his history, he is a flight risk.'Matthew Kennedy and Kyle’s mother Cindy Curving Kennedy are now divorced.

He has remarried. Kennedy was charged with armed and masked robbery but in a deal he agreed to plead guilty to the lower charge of armed robbery. He was sentenced to 3- 5 years in state prison in December 2. He was originally sent to the Cedar Junction maximum security facility in Walpole, Massachusetts. In an online profile on the website Write A Prisoner, Kennedy described his sexual orientation as 'straight.''Hello, my name is Kyle,' he wrote on the site in May last year. I signed up on this website so I can correspond and possibly build friendships with people from around the world.'I stand at 5' 1. I weigh 1. 75 pounds, I have brown hair and brown eyes.

I am also heavily tattooed. I work out, read books and write to help me pass the time while incarcerated,' he added.'My hobbies on the street include racing motocross, building and customizing cars and motorcycles and doing anything that includes the outdoors.

I am currently working to attain my Barbering license.'He ended his profile with the words: 'If you want to get to know me, I'm just a stamp away! Thank you, Kyle.'Shayanna Jenkins- Hernandez, 2.

Avielle stepped out just before sunset on Wednesday, the day after her life partner and fiance, Aaron Hernandez, committed suicide in jail. The Cumberland Farms store Kyle Kennedy robbed at knife point.

Kennedy — prisoner number W1. March 1 next year. Calls to Massachusetts Department of Corrections spokesman Christopher Fallon were not returned. Hernandez, a tight end with the Patriots, killed himself last week. His family has donated his brain to a team from the University of Boston to see whether he was suffering from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a condition caused by repeated hits to the head. He had been serving a life sentence without possibility of parole for the murder of his close friend Odin Lloyd, but just five days earlier had been acquitted of a separate double murder.

One theory for Lloyd's murder is that he knew about Hernandez's bisexuality and might tell Shenea Jenkins — Hernandez's fiancée's sister — who Lloyd was dating. According to Newsweek, Hernandez had a long- term gay lover before he was imprisoned who was due to give evidence at his murder trial. But shortly before the case he transferred a large sum of money into the man's bank account. As exclusively revealed by Daily.

Mail. com, Hernandez — prisoner number W1. He had soaped the floor in his cell, so he would not be able to stand if he changed his mind after attempting to take his own life.