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The trailer for To The Bone, Netflix’s new film about a recovering anorexic inpatient, caused considerable controversy when it was released last month.
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Terrible Movies Men Only Watch For One Reason. It’s always going to be a touchy subject whenever gender is mentioned, but that doesn’t make the topic any less avoidable. The fact of the matter is, there have always been movies made for certain crowds. Studios need their green, so it’s only natural that they’d create target audiences for certain movies.
It makes the success of a movie that much less of a gamble. This is where the eye- rolling “Chick Flick” subgenre stems from (as well as the less commonly referred- to “Prick Flick”). But if there had to be a single saving grace from these Stone Age gender politics, it has to be the fact that these subgenres tend to be the home of unquestionably terrible movies. For the most part, at least. So, whether you’ve had enough of genders and genres having the slightest bit to do with each other, or if you simply love your fair share of shlock entertainment, keep reading to check out 1. Terrible Movies Men Only Watch For One Reason. Mortal Kombat. The early ’9.
That is, unless you were playing Mortal Kombat — because then they were a bloody, spine- ripping, digitally fatalistic time for kids. In an era of Pogs and Tamagotchi’s, kids were especially caught up in video games.
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And whether they were playing at home or at an arcade, Mortal Kombat reigned supreme in terms of popularity. Hit some buttons, move some joysticks, and freeze someone into a block ice before roundhouse kicking them into a pile of frozen gore.
What’s not to love? So, once a movie was inevitably adapted from the game, fans naturally expanded their devotion, shelling out dough for tickets and continuing to hold the film (though not necessarily the sequel) dear to their hearts. Were they willing to really take into consideration how poorly constructed the film was, and how low it happens to sit with the critics (3.
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Rotten Tomatoes), maybe they could see past the nostalgia. But seeing as that’s not likely going to happen, it seems as though this flick is safe from the fatality its critics believe it deserves. The Purge Series.
The horror genre is arguably one of the most experimental. Between monster movies, slasher flicks, whodunits, and hauntings, the sky is essentially the limit. Well, aside from when the genre actually goes to space, at least. With The Purge, the genre puts another clever spin on horror, evolving the slasher angle and adding a dementedly political spin on things. However, though it might have worked in better hands, the entire series has been a bit of a mess from the get- go, failing to fully deliver on crafting a solid piece of filmmaking while also delivering on its promise to be genuinely frightening.
Still, it has its fans. Despite the mess that the series is, it has its supporters, though mainly because it allows its audience to vicariously act out the in- universe- legal violence happening on screen. This is all channeled via some aggressively pseudo- masculinity that hasn’t been quite as present on film since perhaps Commando with Arnold Schwarzenegger — which itself gets a pass on account of actually being a solid action flick. Battlefield Earth. It’s safe to say that John Travolta made some interesting choices when he decided to produce and star in Battlefield Earth. The dialogue is frustratingly insane (“I am going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango.”), the makeup department is pretty much made up of nothing more than dreadlocks and eyebrows, and neither Travolta nor Forest Whitaker have ever been worse.
That said, it’s still one of those throwaway action movies that some guys love to watch. Watch Paranormal Activity 4 Online Paranormal Activity 4 Full Movie Online. Why, though? Is it because they rightly understand that Barry Pepper should be the lead in more movies, or are they just having fun with the sheer insanity of it all? Whatever the case may be, Battlefield Earth hasn’t been entirely buried in the grave it wholeheartedly deserves, though it’s safe to say that that’s only on account of the “so bad it’s good” second life it’s been given.
Flux. Some guys have simple tastes. So simple, in fact, that a toned physique paired with a skin- tight black suit, acrobatic skills, and a proficiency with weapons will win them over. Which is exactly why Æon Flux (yes, it’s a still a movie on some peoples’ minds) is a fan- favorite among certain gentlemen. Rocking a comfortable 1. Rotten Tomatoes, Æon Flux is exactly the sort of post- Oscar garbage that so many Oscar winners inconceivably attach themselves to once awards season is over. It’s as though someone just threw post- apocalypticism, crappy CGI, and some fancy stunt work into a blender, and then called it a day. That’s how disappointing this movie is.
But it’s not stopping the aforementioned gentlemen from paying their visits from time to time. Sharknado. Trashy movies can be fun to watch. Especially when they’re from a bygone era that didn’t seem to know any better. The problem, however, is that some filmmakers try to copy their success (by copying their styles), and fail on account of one major flaw: inauthenticity.
Sharknado is one of those movies. Now, you can definitely argue that audiences ought to just appreciate it for what it is (the filmmakers clearly weren’t going for this generation’s Lawrence of Arabia), but that doesn’t change the fact that it is god awful. And it also doesn’t change the fact that its god- awfulness just gets worse and worse with every one of its sequels. But that doesn’t pardon the series from the crime of being unequivocally terrible. Because that’s exactly what it is, no matter how much fun Ian Ziering and Tara Reid might be having…1.
Friday The 1. 3th (Remake)There are two types of people in this world: those who love remakes and those who hold sacred the original. Most film enthusiasts tend to fall in line with the latter, but they don’t seem to be making much of a difference in the eyes of most studio execs. Remakes make money.
Therefore, remakes will never die — not unlike Jason Voorhees in the Friday the 1. Now, even though the original films (we’re talking parts 1 through 1. So, in terms of being a “guy movie,” it makes sense.
Also, aside from some fellas actually convincing themselves that this one is “better than the original,” the Friday the 1. Especially if you happen to watch the extended cut. Showgirls. Nothing like the dangerous world of pole- dancing, eh? In Showgirls, Elizabeth Berkley (aka Jessie from Saved by the Bell) plays Nomi, a young woman hoping to find success in Las Vegas as a showgirl.
Naturally, she runs into trouble (what with the climb up the showgirl ladder being as difficult as we all know it to be), but that isn’t why guys tend to revisit this ’9. No, the reason they return is simple: the fact that it’s about showgirls. Now, shallow though that may seem, it’s not as though the people who made this movie had any other intentions for the final outcome. They clearly had a solid understanding of the sort of audience they’d pull in. But if they hadn’t, then it stands to reason that nobody knew what the hell sort of movie they were making in the first place. Species. In some respects, Species is a solid sci- fi movie. The savagery is on point, the gore is solid, and the alien presence is appropriately creepy.
But let’s not look beyond the fact that the the focal point of the movie is sex. Watch My All American 4Shared here. From a survivalist’s angle, the sex plot makes perfect sense, seeing as Natasha Henstridge’s Sil is relying on reproduction for the sake of her, ahem, species.
But from a producer’s perspective, the sex plot may as well translate into dollar signs. This movie isn’t a complete disaster, but there’s no denying that the guys who revisit it are more likely than not coming back for the nudity — of which there is a lot. But the human nudity, not the alien nudity. One would assume…7. Caligula. So, how do you convince the heterosexual male population to sit through a historical flick? You make it a porno.